East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
