She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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