The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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