Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
