Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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