I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
