matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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