Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
