i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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