haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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