shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
