There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
