toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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