I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
