Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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