Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
