Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
