I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
