Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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