Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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