He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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