so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
