No more Irish car bombs ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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