Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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