im drinking this country out of the recession.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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