Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
