You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm too high and old for this...
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