Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
