White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
