still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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