Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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