My nipple is on Facebook.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
