I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
