32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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