just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
