I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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