yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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