I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
