Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
