Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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