Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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