Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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