dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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