and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
