people are starting to question the shark bite story
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
did i just pee glitter
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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