It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there was a trapeze. enough said
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
