I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
