So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
