This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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