Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
